Forever Young

I grew up a music fan. I’m a drummer. I have always secretly (or not so secretly) wanted my kids to grow up to play an instrument so I can go to their band concerts or sit in the freezing cold and embarrass them by screaming my head off at their marching band competitions.

It’s important to me.

From the day Nolan was born, I’ve sang one song to him every time I put him to bed at night. God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. The lyrics will always be special to me, and it will always be our song.

I may not always love you,

(I whisper to him at this point “don’t worry, I will”)

But long as there are stars above you,

You never need to doubt it

I’ll make you so sure about it.

Cause god only knows what I’d be without you.

Throughout Tera’s pregnancy with Simon, coming up with what “his” song… “our” song was going to be was a near constant struggle in my head. It may seem trivial, but this was really, really important to me.

I had a new idea seemingly every week. I couldn’t settle on the perfect one.

Then one day, about 6 weeks before we were supposed to bring Simon home with us, I did. It was perfect. Equal parts sweet and sentimental. Folksy and a little rock.

May you grow up to be righteous

May you grow up to be true

May you always know the truth

And see the lights surrounding you

May you always be courageous

Stand upright and be strong

And may you stay

Forever young

There are times that I hear this song in my dreams, or my nightmares. Or just ringing endlessly in my ears. I just wish I could shut it off. Why did I pick a song called “Forever Young”? I would give everything for Simon to grow up with us. To play in the band. To drive us crazy learning to play the trumpet.

 

To NOT be forever young.

I miss my little guy every day. Always and always.